Moving On
by HauntedMoonlight
Summary: It's been a year since the Winter War. Matsumoto is happily engaged to Hitsugaya, yet Gin still owns a piece of her heart. How can she get it back if he's already dead? GinRan friendship, HitsuMatsu OneShot


**A/N: **I wrote this up in thirty minutes after this idea wouldn't leave my head. I'm not an angsty type of person, so please don't flame me if you think it's poorly written. I know it's poorly written and all, but w/e. Sorry, and please try to enjoy? :D

**Title**: Moving On

**Summary:** It's been a year since the Winter War. Matsumoto is happily engaged to Hitsugaya, yet Gin still has a piece of her heart. How can she get it back if he's already dead? GinRan friendship, HitsuMatsu

**Word Count**: 1,440 (not including my lengthy A/Ns.

**Rating**: K+/T for some angst, character death, etc.

**Pairings**: HitsuMatsu, GinRan friendship

**Warnings: **After Winter War, Gin is dead, Aizen is imprisoned, etc.

**Disclaimer: **Bleach isn't mine, it's Kubo Tite's and is published under Viz Entertainment's Shounen Jump. This piece of fanfic will not be used for profit anywhere, anytime, anyplace.

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><p><em>Dear Gin,<em>

_It's been a while since you've died trying to stop Aizen. Old man Yamamoto has proclaimed you as an 'Undercover Hero' of sorts. I laughed and cried at the same time when I heard that. I know you'd smile one of your Gin smiles and crack a joke. You'd never cry._

_I know that you'd want me to move on and be happy. And I have—somewhat. Toshiro and I are happy now. He proposed to me a week ago, and I'm planning the wedding already. I love Toshiro, but my heart still isn't full. Yet I know that, slowly, he's helping mend the parts of my heart that you cracked._

_I know that Toshiro's the real one for me. This is true love, the kind that soul mates share. You and I were just not meant to be together. Sort of like a twisted, messed-up Romeo and Juliet, only where Romeo dies and Juliet gets together with the nicer Paris. You always liked that story, didn't you? Sort of ironic now._

_Did you know that I'm pregnant? Unohana-taichou says that it's twins. I hope it's a boy and girl. In the past, you've always said that you wanted a boy and a girl. I'll name you as their godfather, and tell them stories of your heroic actions at night. You would've laughed. You never liked being praised as a hero. I suppose you were a bit more of a 'hidden in the shadows' type of guy._

_Your birthday is today. You're 300. I remember you would've wanted to go drinking with me to celebrate your big three-oh-oh. Heh. I probably would've dragged Toshiro along, and we'd be completely drunk while he'd glare daggers at me and promise to give me lots of paperwork. But it'd be worth it._

_I guess you would want to know about Kira. He's doing fine as the new taichou of the 3__rd__. And guess what. He's dating Hinamori! She's moved on too, but sometimes she zones out with memories of the good ol' times, her eyes glistening. I suppose I do that too. _

_At night, I still cry myself to sleep sometimes, or wake up in the middle of the night crying your name. But Toshiro helps a lot. I really do love him. And you'd want me to be happy with him._

_Aizen is still locked up. His sentence has been upgraded to 50,000 years. Good riddance to him. _

_The question that always confuses me is '_Why did you do it?_' Both going with Aizen and trying to stop him weren't necessary actions. Why?_

_I hate to say it, but you died for no reason, Gin. It was stupid. You were stupid. Ichigo would've stopped him even if you didn't try. I'm sure you knew that, being the genius you were. So why? _

_I still hate you, you know. I hate you and love you and detest you and like you. Why did you have to play with my heart? Why me? It wasn't—and still isn't—fair. I know that Hinamori's probably been damaged even more than me. But I can't help but wallow in my self-pity. Did you know that, for the month after the Winter War, I did nothing but drink? Everyone thought I'd be worse than Hinamori. Yamamoto, being the old geezer he is, was even starting to look for replacement fukutaichous. But I didn't care. Toshiro was probably the only thing that kept me from being fired. Honestly, it was the worst drinking binge of my life, worse than when you'd first left me. _

_I owe everything to Toshiro. He pulled me out of my pit and restored me. He handed me self-confidence, hope, and the ability to love again. He also taught me to not look back, but I can't help it. Sometimes, you just have to look back and try to figure out: What went wrong?_

_I know better now than to blame myself. I'm a happy, beautiful, cheery woman with a wonderful, handsome, loving fiancée. I'm one of the most fortunate women in Soul Society. Thousands of women wish they could trade places with me. _

_I'm getting tired now, and I'm running out of ink. Toshiro's yelling at me to do some actual paperwork instead of scribbling, but he doesn't know I'm writing to you. You're probably wondering what the purpose of this letter's for. I guess it's just a parting, a final good-bye. I'm just going to walk forward into my new life, and never glance back. As much as I know this is right, I can't help but feel like I'm betraying you. Is that wrong?_

_There is one final thing I have to ask of you. Could you give me back my heart? I know it's selfish of me, to want to live a happy life with happy people while your spirit lingers somewhere in the great beyond. But I _want _to be free from the ties you bound me with. _

_So please, Gin, return to me the shattered parts of my heart so I can live again. And don't forget: I will always, always love you, even if just as a friend._

_Love,_

_Rangiku Matsumoto_

I signed the letter with a flourish before folding it and placing it into an envelope with a sakura blossom border. Gin loved sakura trees.

I could feel Toshiro's curious eyes on my back as I silently left the office. He didn't ask though, something I was grateful for.

I walked all the way to the park where Gin's grave was. I smiled. Gin and I always ate lunch together at that park. We would sit under the shade of the huge oak trees in the middle of July, eating pork buns and ice cream. I remember how he said, a week before he left with Aizen, that he'd always wanted to eat and talk together at the park. It was our private oasis.

I stopped in front of Gin's grave. Someone had taken a few sakura blossoms from one of the many sakura trees in the park and laid them on the headstone. My eyes misted, but I sniffed away the tears. I had to be strong.

Slowly, carefully, I sat down next to his grave. During the first few months after Gin's death, I'd sat next to it every noontime, and eaten my lunch there. After a while, I stopped, but every week I went at least once. It was like he held me prisoner, a curse of some sort. But today the curse ended.

I placed the letter on the soft, gently waving grass near Gin's headstone. It looked perfect there. I waited a few beats, the silence somehow comforting.

"Do you forgive me, Gin? Can I move on now?"

The wind whistled a silent yes, as sakura petals swirled around me, engulfing me with their beauty and sweet scent. A tear spilled out of my eyes and, leaving a salty, cold track on my warm skin.

"Thank you."

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><p><strong>AN: **I know, I know. It sucked. But still, please, please, PLEASE review? I'll give you a cookie? And you can has cheeseburger xD Sorry, i probably won't write anymore angsty stories because I'm just plain bad at them. I prefer humorous stories, because they're fun to write. :) If you have any story requests or HitsuMatsu scenarios you want me to write, PM me or leave a review. Thanks!

~**Haunted**_Moonlight_~


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